Familial relationships always come with their own complications and nuances. This is especially true when they involve violence and murder.
Barbara Daly was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts on September 28th, 1921. She was raised by her mother Nina, affectionally known as Nini, and her father Frank until the age of 11.
In 1933, Frank took his own life. He wanted to make it look like an accident, to ensure that his wife and his daughter would be well taken care of, and be able to claim his life insurance. Through most of her childhood, Barbara was aware that her parents had tumultuous relationships with their mental health, but at the time, it wasn’t something that was talked about, and people often refused to seek assistance – if they even knew that they could.
Once Frank’s affairs were settled, Nini moved with Barbara to New York City, where they settled into their new residence – the Delmonico Hotel.
Barbara grew up in affluence, becoming a New York socialite as a young woman. She loved the attention, and adored being doted on. Known for her exquisite good looks, Barbara posed for portraits, and also modelled for Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar.
As her looks caught the attention of Hollywood moguls, she was invited to Los Angeles to perform a screen test with renowned actor Dana Andrews. While Barbara hoped this would be her key to fame and fortune, she did not perform well, but all was not lost.
Barbara had developed a budding friendship with another aspiring actress, Cornelia “Dickie” Baekeland.
The Baekelands were a famous household name, being related to famed chemist Leo Baekeland. Leo was known as the inventor of Bakelite – the substance that became the first synthetic plastic. Needless the say, the Baekelands were incredibly wealthy.
When Dickie introduced Barbara to her brother, Brooks, Barbara knew this was the man she would have. At the time, Brooks was a trainee pilot with the Royal Canadian Air Force, but that didn’t deter Barbara from pursuing him. She saw fame, fortune, and a life of luxury, and she was determined to have it.
The couple married in California in the early 1940s. While it seemed that Brooks enjoyed Barbara’s company, he wasn’t keen on that kind of commitment with her. When she told him she was pregnant, he decided to “do the right thing”. He didn’t learn until it was too late that Barbara had made up the pregnancy in order to trick him into marrying her, and affording her the lifestyle she felt she rightly deserved.
Despite the massive deception, Brooks stayed married to Barbara, and the couple relocated to the Upper East Side of New York City. There, they ran in the most elite of social circles, hosting elaborate parties with guests lists that included Greta Garbo, Tennessee Williams, and Willam Styron, to name a few.
Before she tried to pursue film work in California, Barbara was known around New York for her expressive, if not quirky, personality, and it seemed marriage did not change that. Friends within her social circles were accustomed to her outbursts, and her bouts of severe depression. Her heavy drinking habits did not help matters. Though she and Brooks sought out mental health support, it seemed to do very little for the Baekelands.
They both put up appearances of a happy marriage, but they weren’t anything like the picture perfect couple they pretended to be. Brooks was known to have a wandering eye, and Barbara was competitive. Both husband and wife took to extramarital affairs like fish take to water.
On August 28th, 1946, Barbara gave birth to her only child, Antony Baekeland. She was hopeful that their newborn son would settle their marriage, and bring them both the happiness they so desired. Barbara doted on her son excessively, and Brooks showed him off to friends as though Antony were a trophy to be picked up and put down at will.
In 1954, when Antony was 8 years old, the Baekelands decided they’d had enough of New York City. While they maintained their apartment there, they travelled through Europe with their son, renting houses and villas in various cities, including London, Paris, Zermatt, Cap d’Antibes, and throughout Italy.
The nomadic lifestyle did nothing to impede their socializing, entertaining, drinking, and affair having.
While Antony did not have the most hands-on parents, he was an exceptionally curious and artistic child. Barbara encouraged his painting and writing, while Brooks encouraged his scientific “experiments” – most of which involved harm to insects and small animals. It seemed as though neither parent found this behaviour to be at all troubling.
Around 1960, the Baekelands settled in Paris, hoping that the stability of a permanent address would improve Barbara’s mental health. On more than one occasion, Brooks wanted to leave his extremely unhappy marriage, but every time he found he was stuck – Barbara would often threaten to take her own life, and Brooks felt stuck. Through all this, he never stopped his extramarital affairs, and Barbara became more and more codependent on her son.
In 1967, the Baekelands had moved from Paris to Switzerland. While there, Antony, now 20 years old, met and befriended a bisexual Australian man who made him extremely happy. The pair dated, and experimented with various hallucinogenic drugs, which were difficult to obtain in Switzerland. They would often travel to Morocco to experiment with the narcotics, and to get out from under Barbara’s thumb.
At first, Barbara was only distrustful of the Australian man her son had chosen to befriend. This distrust turned to hate when Antony came out to his mother as gay, and introduced the man as his boyfriend. Barbara refused to acknowledge her son’s sexual orientation, and vowed to “cure” him, one way or another.
Upon learning that Antony and his partner were in Spain, Barbara travelled immediately to Spain to bring her son home. They were stopped at the border, where Antony was not allowed entry due to not having his passport on hand.
Barbara put up a fuss, and made a scene at the border, which resulted in both mother and son spending a night in jail. Many who were close to Barbara attribute this inciting incident as the beginning of the end for her relationship with her son.
Unable to return to Switzerland, Barbara and Antony remained in Spain. Antony became very dear friends with a young woman named Sylvie. Barbara hoped that this meant Antony was no longer interested in dating men. However, the relationship between Antony and Sylvie was strictly platonic, as Sylvie instead began having an affair with Brooks.
Following the episode at the border, Brooks had finally had enough of Barbara and her increasingly erratic, troubling behaviour, her threats be damned.
Brooks filed for divorce, and took Sylvie with him back to the United States. Barbara fell into a deep depression, and attempted to take her own life, being saved by a friend.
Following her divorce, Barbara grew increasingly dependent and controlling of her son, and his behaviour. She was determined to “cure” Antony, as she told many of her friends. She often hired sex workers, whom she paid to sexually assault her son.
When this proved a fruitless endeavour, Barbara began telling anyone who would listen that she was “fixing” her son herself. She proudly declared to all that she was routinely taking her son to bed – usually against his will, and without his consent.
The rumours of the alleged incestuous relationship ran rampant among Barbara’s social circle, though most took it as the ramblings of an erratic woman. It’s unclear if there was any truth to what Barbara was saying, as most of her friends were disinclined to believe her. But the deterioration of Antony’s mental health seemed to indicate that whatever was transpiring between mother and son, it was not good.
The more Barbara controlled her son, the more Antony seemed to “act out”. His behaviour grew increasingly erratic, and he became angrier and angrier by the day. Antony and Barbara were known to get into screaming matches at each other, both highly paranoid of the other’s actions.
Having moved to London, Antony and Barbara put up a façade of a solid relationship, though Antony’s actions seemed to indicate a growing resentment towards Barbara.
In one memorable instance, Antony had followed Barbara to a dinner party, where he attacked his mother as she left a friend’s home. First, he tried to push her into oncoming traffic. When that failed, he entered the house, and stole a kitchen knife, which he used in an attempt to attack his mother, before running off into a back alley to avoid causing more of a scene.
Barbara was warned that Antony’s behaviour could escalate, and many feared that he would eventually end up killing his mother. But she never believed it. She loved her son. She couldn’t imagine him ever being able to do such a terrible thing to her.
The toxicity and dysfunction came to a head on November 17th, 1972.
Antony had called a friend to come over for drinks while Barbara had been out. When she returned and Antony had informed her of his plans, she grew angry. This was the point where Antony snapped.
Antony grabbed a kitchen knife and attacked his mother.
At the age of 51, Barbara Daly Baekeland was dead on her kitchen floor.
When police arrived at the scene, they found 25-year-old Antony in a bedroom ordering Chinese takeaway on the phone.
After being arrested and taken into custody, Antony readily admitted to attacking his mother. At one point, he told police: “My mind was slightly wacky and I was very much under my mother’s influence. I felt she was controlling my mind.”
However, it seemed he wasn’t fully aware of what had happened in the aftermath. He kept asking if his mother was alright, and why she hadn’t come to visit him. He didn’t seem to understand that in his attack, he had killed Barbara.
Antony was found guilty of manslaughter, and was institutionalized at Broadmoor Hospital, where he received proper care for his mental health. He was also formally diagnosed with schizophrenia, for which he received treatment.
Over the years, Antony seemed to be doing much better. So much so, friends and family petitioned valiantly for his release.
His maternal grandmother, Nini, enlisted the assistance of very powerful, very connected, families to help her get Antony released into her custody, and returned to the United States.
At the age of 33, on July 21st, 1980, Antony Baekeland was released into the custody of his 87-year-old grandmother. He flew directly into New York City, and took up residence in her apartment.
Within his first few days with his grandmother, Antony, who had stopped receiving treatment for his mental health, built a shrine to his mother’s ashes. His behaviour grew increasingly aggressive, and erratic, as the days wore on.
On July 27th, 1980, barely a week after he was released from Broadmoor Hospital, Antony grew enraged with his grandmother.
He wanted to make a phone call to London to get in touch with a friend, and his grandmother wouldn’t let him. Antony took a knife from the kitchen, and attacked his grandmother. He stabbed her 8 times, and broke several bones. By some miracle, Nini survived the attack.
Antony was arrested shortly after, and charged with attempted murder. He was sent to Rikers Island to await his trial.
Antony spent 8 months being assessed by the psychiatric team at Rikers Island, hoping he’d be released on bail after their assessment. However, there was an extreme delay in the process. The team at Rikers Island had never received Antony’s medical records from the Broadmoor Hospital.
Antony Baekeland was returned to his cell on March 20th, 1981 at 3:30 PM. A half hour later, he was found with a plastic bag around his head. He had suffocated to death.
Multiple tragedies befell the Baekeland family. It’s easy to place blame on particular individuals or situations. But in the end, what matters most is the necessity of stigma-free and accessible mental health care.
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Sources:
Barbara Daly Baekeland Tried To Cure Her Son’s Homosexuality With Incest — Instead He Killed Her – Kara Goldfarb – All That’s Interesting
Death of a socialite: the Barbara Baekeland case – Crime & Investigation
A Twisted Mother-Son Bond: Barbara Baekeland’s Story – Hadar Gerlitz – History by Day
He will kill you: Shrink warned mother of Baekeland plastics heir – David J. Krajicek – NY Daily News
Unearth the dark crime that put an end to Barbara Daly Baekeland’s life – Kendra Ackerman – Film Daily
Morbid podcast – Episode 257 – The Tragic Story of Barbara Daly Baekeland
Barbara Daly Baekeland Wikipedia page